“Naturally, you ask where on earth this person came from. Who let them in? Do they have a driver’s license? Should you offer them tea, or put them on the next flight to Pluto?”
This post is hilarious, and everything I look forward to (and am scared to death of) experiencing with Arthur. He’ll be smarter than we are, and probably bossier, and I don’t know if any of us is ready for that yet. We better get started…
It’s a funny business, living with a child. It’s a little bit like living with a mooching flatmate who is quite a bit smarter than you. (And shorter, which sort of makes up for it.)
You see, when you’re talking about children in the hypothetical (as in, “we might want kids some day”, or “aren’t your sister’s kids wonderful?”), they seem a little bit like kittens: small, furry and adorable. They’re supposed to giggle and coo and drink from a bottle and smile with a little toothless smile. Or say things like, “Daddy says mommy gets grumpy when she sits on rags, but I don’t see why she doesn’t just get up.” They’re supposed to hold your hand crossing the street, and be suddenly polite when your parents are over.
What tends to happen is they cry and vomit on you, shit on your shoes and flush your car…
View original post 514 more words