This time last year, I was planning my wedding. We were six months into a 14-month engagement, and the time was just flying. I remember breathing easier that we had booked our vendors as early as we did, because friends of mine who were just digging in were starting to worry that they only had eight months to go and dates were closing out fast.
Five days ago, I was five weeks into this pregnancy…and time has pretty much stopped. We only have eight months to go, and if the nine days since I took the first test are any indication then we are in for a long, slow season.
Then there’s the rest of it. I love reading stories of women whose only indication of pregnancy was a positive test, because when I sleep I like to dream that I am one of them. I’m not so lucky when I’m awake – that test was the my body’s diktat to commence hostilities. My mom giggles and says that maybe I’m farther along than we thought (not likely); one friend’s immediate thought was, “Maybe you’re having twins!” (Oh. Dear.) Before I start to sound all whiny and ungrateful, though, just know that I am grateful for every moment of nausea, every yawn, every trip to the restroom accompanied by the thought that I just did this about 10 minutes ago.
Because I’m still scared. It doesn’t matter how careful we are, how calm I force myself to remain, how exciting this time is – anything can happen. So I cherish the symptoms that tell me that our little sweet pea is going to stick around, and that everything is going to be fine.
At the same time…we are both so excited. I may or may not serenade my as-yet deaf little one with Disney classics on my way to work. We may or may not have had a couple of teary moments last night at a Kraft commercial. (Okay, one of us did. It wasn’t me.) One of us is already sending pictures of cute things we found for the baby:
And slowly but surely, the circle of friends who are in the know is expanding – a whisper, phone call, or message at a time. It’s hard to decide which of these reveal-and-reaction conversations is my favorite, but here’s a top contender:
The weeks may be creeping, but there’s so much light and love surrounding us that it’s impossible not to be caught up in the magic.